From the moment of conception, we are mothers. From the instant pregnancy is confirmed, we make plans and our dreams unfold. Then, in a moment's time, our world shatters. Our stories are all different, but our pain is the same. We are mothers who will forever grieve the loss of our children.
♥ Bristol Sparks born into Heaven on December, 18th 2009 ♥
Two years ago my dreams were shattered, my heart broken, and my life changed. They say that time heals pain, and I wonder if years down the road December 17th & 18th will pass with just a short pause to remember our first child. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about Bristol in some way...and I hope that even in years to come, I never forget. Not because I want to relive that pain, but because I want to remember all the awesome blessings that were born out of her short life.
* I committed my life to Christ and was baptized a few months after Bristol was born. Through her life and death, I gained eternal life by truly believing in my Savior.
* Brad & I raised over $1000 for TinyHeartbeats in honor of her 1st Heavenly birthday. Because of those funds, many women across the U.S. will have peace of mind during their subsequent pregnancy with the use of a fetal doppler.
* Beats for Bristol, Inc. was founded this year and has already touched the lives of dozen of families by raising awareness for prenatal loss and providing free doppler rentals to women who have experienced the loss of a child. We also send pregnancy devotionals to doppler recipients and hope to minister to women in a special way.
* The Bristol Project of The Zoe Foundation, Inc. (http://www.zoe-foundation.org/) was born this year as well. The Zoe Foundation provides financial assistance for burial/funeral arrangements for families who have experienced the loss of a child. Because of our Indiana Chapter (The Bristol Project) many families will be comforted in a time of need.
* Some people have told me, that my faith throughout this experience has inspired them to seek a closer relationship with Christ. What an awesome blessing- for others to know and love Him- through this storm.
As I've prepared emotionally for Bristol's upcoming birthday, I have been torn by what to do and what, if anything, is appropriate. I have felt so strongly about doing something...and as I've reflected on why, I realized that I'm afraid if we do nothing, then no one will remember our first pregnancy. That her short life/death will be forgotten and therefore meaningless. I'm terrified that this journey, that piece of my heart, and everything that has happened since, will become a distant memory.
Two people- both mother's who have angels waiting in heaven- have told me this week that Bristol's life has touched and impacted many other lives. This simple reminder touched my heart in such a way that I was overcome with peace. I don't have to worry about making sure people remember Bristol, because in her own way, her life is touching people in countless ways that I can't. Bristol's legacy has already begun, and I pray that it continues to impact lives for generations to come, long after I am celebrating her life in Heaven.
And in God's perfect timing, I've received four doppler requests this week alone! As I was communicating via email with one of the mother's she wrote this in her email:
I am so excited to hear from you! Oh I wish I could hug your neck! I have been glued to your website reading your story. What a great thing you are doing! I also can tell you are a believer and that warms my heart as well. Thank you for praying for me. This is such a blessing to me.
I cannot EVER repay you for what this means.
Thank you for allowing little Bristol to touch my heart too.
I cannot wait to meet her one day in heaven.
What an awesome thought...truly touched my heart, gave me chills, and brought tears to my eyes. As believers, we have the presence of God's Spirit to guide us to change, so the legacy we write in others' lives can be godly.
What makes greatness is starting something that lives after you.
- Ralph Sockman
You are not here merely to make a living. You are here to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, and with a finer spirit of hope and achievement. You are here to enrich the world. You impoverish yourself if you forget this errand.
- Woodrow Wilson
Our days are numbered. One of the primary goals in our lives should be to prepare for our last day. The legacy we leave is not just in our possessions, but in the quality of our lives. What preparations should we be making now? The greatest waste in all of our earth, which cannot be recycled or reclaimed, is our waste of the time that God has given us each day.”
― Bill Graham
What makes greatness is starting something that lives after you.
